Friday, April 18, 2008

My card will read: Mommy, bee slayer

If you happen to walk by our house on any given day this spring and hear terrified screams, please don't be alarmed. Lanie has either caught the cat looking at her, or she's spotted a bee in the house.

I warned her on the first warm day of spring that bees were waking up to do their jobs, and that we'd probably see quite a few of them this season. To further prepare her for this insect onslaught, we took a trip to the library and checked out a book on wasps and one on honeybees, along with mandatory piggie and wolf reading materials. She looked at the pictures all the way home, telling me what she thought a bee's life was like.

"Look, Mommy, this one's smiling." Now that can't be so bad, can it?

Well, an angry bee was in our house yesterday. And with two-story ceilings, you can imagine how difficult my job was to coax it down. But I got lucky. It didn't; it met a twisted fate in the kitchen window blinds with a fly swatter and a shoe. Lanie hid, terrified, in the bathroom, until I gave her the all-clear. Then the dam broke as she shrieked and cried how she hates bees. Not more than ten minutes later, she spots another one! I saved that kill for her dad.

And while I was shaking the duster out at the back door this morning, Lanie warns me, "Mommy, close that door or you'll let a bee in!" And as I was telling her not to worry, wouldn't you know. One of those tricky wasps flew right in ... almost in my hair! Lanie ran shrieking into the bathroom (now known as the Panic Room) to close herself in.

I explained to one of Lanie's friends yesterday that blowing bubbles is part of a mommy's job description. Apparently, so are insect kills. It's in the smaller print at the end.

No comments: