Monday, January 12, 2009


Lanie came downstairs tonight while I sat at the computer. I heard thumping and movement on the stairs--kind of threw me off because the house was supposed to be asleep. She comes into the office and climbs onto my lap. She wants to cuddle. And a drink. We head to the kitchen and I fix her some milk. We sit silently side by side at the counter. She eyes my lap and climbs onto me. "I just want you," she says. I hold her close and sway a bit. She still fits. I rest my head against hers and remember she was once a tiny infant in my arms. She's so big now. I hold her closer. I think of our day: she spent most of it with Shane at a movie and running errands for me this morning. I was so tired reading to her tonight at bedtime, I just wanted to curl up next to her and sleep, like we did when she was two and three and four years old. And still a late hour found us awake for an extra quiet time. How old will she be when she no longer fits on my lap? Eight, nine, ten? How old will she be when she's too big to cuddle or admit she still wants me? I hold her closer and savor six. Big six: when she doesn't howl or cry at falling down and embarrasses easily over bumps and tumbles. Little six: when she lets me whisper fantasy into her ear at bedtime and she whispers back. Wonderful six, could this moment last a little longer ... in my arms ... in this heart.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Sarah is ten and we watched part of the Ravens game with her snuggled on my lap. You still have quite a few years!