Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The ticket

January is the month I decided to see what it feels like to be a lab rat. Every week I have something fun scheduled with a doctor or specialist. The fun began last week when they sucked out 6 or more vials of my blood. Today, I got the results of that blood work during my physical.

I love this part.

Since I've had Erin, two years ago, I took my time about getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight. "I just had a baby," I said until she was about 18 months old. Then that didn't seem so understandable. So I started saying, "I like chocolate." And shrugged. Most women get it.

So when the doctor is going over my results, she's telling me how great my blood sugar is (yeah!) and that my cholesterol is wonderful too.

"I find this hard to believe," I said to her. "I eat a homemade chocolate chip cookie every day after breakfast. I thought for sure I was clogging up my arteries."

This is a slight exaggeration, because I really eat THREE of them.

"But your thyroid numbers have changed in the last year, doubling in fact," she said. "Blah, blah, blah." The bottom line is on that front: my thyroid is sluggish. Sluggish!

Imagine the things I could do if it wasn't sluggish. With a sluggish thyroid, I'm a little soft around the middle, but I can stay up late at night and solve world problems. This is great news. With a lifetime of thyroid medication, I will be unstoppable! (I like to look for the silver lining ...)

I called my husband, "All this time I've been telling myself it was the chocolate holding me back. I was thinking I wasn't losing weight because of the chocolate--"

"And your lack of exercise," he added.

"Yeah, whatever." I continued, "But it wasn't that I'm lazy or eat too much chocolate: I have an underactive thyroid! So when people look at me like a fluffy size ?@# (I'm not giving it up that easily)--I'll just be like, 'Um, I have a thyroid problem?'"

It's my ticket to status quo.

"Yeah, what about after you start taking the medication?" he asks.


I find the silver lining. Shane finds the thunderstorm of reason. Whatever, I'm on a month-long chocolate binge until I start the meds.

Note: I so enjoy highlighting the light banter and love I share with my man. But he doesn't like the celebrity that comes with my blogging. People are looking us, shaking their heads, like they know things ... and he's feeling a little less anonymous in this world. He has told me several times to not mention him. To not even refer to him as "husband" or "Mr. X." So, until I find out the loophole in those instructions, I'm going to have to quit blogging about him. I may even have to leave him out of our Christmas newsletter ...


jodie said...

But I LIKE getting to know Mr. X. I guess it can get kinda weird if all people ever said to him were things like, "open any sauce jars lately?"

So Sat night I'll ask him what his favorite ice cream is.

I am entertained by the random word verifications. Just thought you'd want to know that this one is "pants"!!!

WELL...I guess it wasn't "pants"! It denied my word!! this time it's "sinhe". Let's see if I can type this time...

Courtney said...

I like wordpress b/c the comment function is easier. Other things aren't so easy ...

I think Shane's worried Joe might start giving him the eye (kidding!).

Katie @ Heart Gone Walking said...

I may or may not have had egg nog for breakfast yesterday. So I'm guessing that's why I'm still not back to pre-baby weight. "Baby" is a loose term considering Madeline's 20 months old...

Courtney said...

I hear ya, Katie.

Lisa said...

'...ticket to status quo.'