Monday, January 5, 2009

To do: call doctor, read, bleach tub

The past two weeks have been a blur with lots of activity. Fortunately, I've been able to keep up with the pace because I physically haven't been able to sleep. Nearly every night when I lay down to go to sleep, and I'm teetering on twilight and goodnight, I start feeling really ... ill. All that helps make that yucky go away is getting up and doing something.

Something has included working on a new blog, reading the Bible, reading another book, making grocery lists and spending enormous amounts of time on the Internet. It has also included a detailed plan to fix the economy and to bring about world peace. What else am I going to do at 4 in the morning? Sleep?

So, it's actually been pretty good, and you'll thank me when there's world peace. But what has been better, is that I have been able to function on three hours of sleep a night--and I'm still a good wife and mother because of it. I don't say this to go "look at me," but LOOK AT ME! I am covered in grace. Because there are plenty of days when I have eight hours of sleep and can be a bear when people are in my way or want things from me. And yet, oddly, these past two weeks, it's different. I'm dog tired, but because of grace, I have been able to smile at my kids and fulfill their requests with a happy heart. I have been keenly aware that I haven't snapped at anyone, especially during circumstances where I know I would!

Yesterday, I was overcome by tears at God's grace in my life. That he knows I'm running on empty and still has equipped me to get by ... and get by well. I was so thankful that these weeks weren't marred by a bad attitude, staining Christmas and New Years for my kids--because in my own power, there would be some bad attitude. Still, in my tears, I asked if I could get one good night's sleep.

Last night looked to be a repeat of the same, but somehow or another, I was able to fall into a deep, deep sleep.

At 6:15 this morning, I woke up and got the kids ready. I stuck Erin in the tub and she tooted. What a joke for a two year old!

"Mommy! Toot!" she laughed. I laughed too. Then she does a few grunts, and before I really put it all together (which you, intelligent reader, who sleeps most nights, probably already have figured this one out!), I look at her and say in dawning wonder, "Erin, do you have to poop?"

"No," she says. And then, she poops.

I stop flossing and get over to her to take her out of the tub, but she doesn't want to get out.

"Honey, you pooped. I have to get you out of the tub!" She scoots away from me, but then she sees the poop and it freaks her out. Screams.

"Let me get you out!" I say and reach for her as she's splashing poop water all over herself. Ugh.

I get her out and into the shower to clean her up. She's crying and shaking, "Poop! Tub! Poop! Tub!"

For several hours after, she continues recounting the horror, "Poop! Tub!" Something tells me, this will be her first lasting memory of her life. Not the fabulous cuddles or playtimes. Not the silly songs we sing together. She's going to remember this morning, and hopefully, so will I. I hope that I remember this season of insomnia and how gracious God was to me, filling me up on his word and his love, his mercy and his grace.


Lisa said...

Two weeks from now, it will be a funny memory - don't worry. But you should worry that I will make fun of you mercilessly about it from now on. Kidding!

The same thing happened to us 3 years ago about a half-hour before we were headed to my in-laws for Easter dinner. Greaaat. J doesn't remember it at all.

Courtney said...

Oh, Lisa! I laughed so hard (inside, not at her), the poop was funny. Just a humorous way to start a busy day!

jodie said...

First of all, GET SOME SLEEP!

Secondly, thanks for the laugh (at your expense). Both of your latest entries cracked me up!

Katie @ Heart Gone Walking said...

Oh, Courtney. Poop-in-the-tub days are the best, aren't they? That cracked me up!

Courtney said...

You ever had one of those days, Katie? Sounds like you know where I'm coming from!