Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Easy to love

About a year ago, I checked out a book from the library called Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey ... a book about turning conflict into cooperation, and what parent couldn't use some of that? Before then, I had read quite a few parenting books ... and some I wish I hadn't! If ever I were to suggest a book to a friend, hands down it's Easy to Love

So I got this book from the library, and I read it slowly because it was so good, I didn't want to rush through it and not get the lessons in my head. I read it so slowly, I renewed it to the limit and then two times more. Ok, and then I returned it because I stopped reading part way through--probably from reading other books at the same time ... I do that. Then at Christmas time, I made a list and at the top (honestly, I can't even say there was anything else on the list), was Becky Bailey's book. Thank God, Shane took the hint.

Fast forward about six months, I restarted and finished the book. What makes it so surprising and so good is its over arching theme of self-control in place of trying to control others. A book that made me think it was about getting kids to change, actually fooled me for the better by revealing to me that I needed to change first. I got practical, clear examples of how to reprogram my thinking--and a picture of what to really expect of kids by age, especially those older than three. It gave me the tools to go alongside my children and teach them ... not to look for reasons to punish. (This is not to say that there aren't ever consequences for poor decisions.)

It's about helping a child to make better choices for himself; to feel his feelings and show compassion for others; to look for the best in others; to acknowledge mistakes and move on. A beautiful and thoughtful weaving of self-control and discipline skills. These are lifelong lessons for big people too: I learned many things about myself through these pages--which is a better conversation over coffee than blog feeds.

At the end of the book is a 7-Week Loving Guidance program to further root the lessons and springboard into the rest of life. And I'm looking forward to every minute of it. 


firefly said...

Thankyou for talking about this book. This is something I am having problems with, with my 4 year old daughter. I know that I need to change before I expect her to change, but I dont know how to change me... I will definately be looking for this book.

Thank you!!!

Courtney said...

You'll have to let me know what you think of it. It is a great book--and while not from a Christian perspective per se, it does contain Christian values ... such as self-control and looking for the best in others (aka love).

I find myself saying "it is what it is" a lot more ... you'll learn that mantra too.

Really, let me know what you think of it!