Friday, March 18, 2011

Spin

On Facebook, springtime statuses remarking sunny days ... turning off heat ... 5k charity runs ... music videos. All the regular status stuff. And I wanted to write:

My father-in-law died this morning. 

But I didn't write it.

From Erin, "I wish no one had to die and we could live forever. There would always be hugs and kisses."

And I am reminded at how this planet keeps on spinning in the aftermath of loss. And how I know that that status would get buried in the tumbling updates of others' things to do and thoughts; this echo in the canyon fades.

Spin, spin.

And I will be out and about running errands today. And each day I will go about my business, face the same daily challenges, and hope the same hopes. And on one of those days I will stand by my husband's father's grave. Hard stop.

Thinking of life punctuated with these hard stops, and my heart is breaking at my strong man's walk through this day (and I'm hoping people will show him kindness), of the grief we all wear on the inside. Thinking of spin, facades, lives that barely intersect, and no goodbyes.

4 comments:

Kristina said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss!!

Courtney said...

Thank you, Kristina. It was very unexpected, but has given us much to think about.

6intow said...

So sorry to hear that. It is hard to share about loss when everyone else seems so cheery.

I know in dark times it seems so strange to take care of necessities -- laundry, groceries, walking the dog, etc. It always makes me think now as I go about my everyday stuff what the others that I am rubbing elbows with are in the midst of.

Praying for you today, friend!

~Erin

Courtney said...

"rubbing elbows in the midst of ..." exactly. It made me think the same thing.

Thank you for your prayers, Erin!