Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Wish upon a star

Yesterday I visited with the doctor who oversaw the delivery of my two girls. I've known him now for over eight years, and I think he's a really great guy.

"I nearly cried thinking about you on my way out here," I told him. "You were one of the first to see my babies. I felt sad to think that that part of my life is over."

Oh, the swell of tears.

"I wanted more babies," I told him.

"I know," he said. He smiled.

I wiped tears.

"My husband turns forty-four today. He tells me he's too old for babies," I continued.

The doctor laughed, "He's not."

I know.

After dinner last night, I cut up four big slices of coconut cake and put a candle in his piece. A tiny and brightly colored blue star candle on a hint of a stick. I lit it and the girls and I sang happy birthday. He inhaled and hesitated over the candle until our song ended--and I watched and wondered as he blew it out if he'd wish for anything at all. The flame went out; a thin wisp of smoke reached up.

Even though it wasn't my birthday, my candle--I wished. I wished anyway.


6intow said...

Wishing for you as well. :'/

Courtney said...

Thanks, Erin!

~she~ said...

I would have 100 babies if I could. I almost cry every time I think about that fact that I will never again hear my husband say, "It's a...." as I lie on a table, freezing, in a chilly operating room. I'm very thankful for the four I have!