Tuesday, December 23, 2014

On wholehearted

Its antonym is half-hearted. Lukewarm. Tepid.

Oh, wholehearted. Where did you take me this year? You had me look beneath the surface of things, to hearts and my very own too. I learned and I knew that it wasn't just about enthusiasm, not for a melancholic, but it was about commitment and honor and following through.

Living wholehearted took me to private places to catch tears, into a terminal man's home for a last family reunion and photoshoot, to a friend's hospital side to take her home, to her daughter's performance to cheer her on, to taking a gift and giving it away over and over and over.


Living wholehearted was the very ordinary of stacking wood,

yard arms

cutting a field,
spring day

serving a Friday glass of wine.

Friday bonfire

Living wholehearted was saying yes to new friendships and yes to vulnerability and yes to hard things. Pushing through and pressing on.

On, on.

Single-minded. Ardent. Avid. Eager. Enthusiastic. Excited. Exuberant. Fervent. Genuine. Heart-felt. Hearty. Whole-souled.

It was about wholeheartedly following Jesus when I felt irritated and wanted to turn away from right things. It was about wishing another well in the face of disrespect and disregard. It was about determining to gift hardened hearts anyway.

It's my race to run.


It was about a crazy pace and dirty floors and laundry piles and cluttered table tops. It was about 3 a.m. and filling in where others faltered and pursuing the Lord with my whole heart, day after day. It was about looking at things that really matter and aligning my life to back it up--what is my priority? What comes first? What do I value? Does my calendar reflect that? Do my words back that?

family selfie
Marked by earnest commitment. (Following through. Reliable. Trustworthy.)

It's about following through--a scarf for Lanie that she won't remove (she treasures it!), movies on the couch with the kids, dinner on the table night after night. It's about loving in rejection and trusting God for solving problems. It's about gratitude for every day, every breath, every smile, every sunset.

knitting a scarf for Lanie

Completely and sincerely devoted, determined or enthusiastic. (Real. Present. Whole-souled.)

While, at times, I may not have been entirely enthusiastic (because loving mean people isn't a cake walk), I could be determined.

I could be real.

I could be present.

I learned that when I step out in faith, God is there. And I appreciate all the more the people whose lives reflect wholehearted living--it's easy to see who they are. They are the ones who show up, and they bring their hearts.


Nora said...

I LOVE this word...wholeheartedly. ;) I would use it for my word next year because of all it encompasses, but I'm feeling led to a different one. Still unknown.

Courtney said...

Can't wait to hear about it. Maybe you'll have it finalized next week for our breakfast? =)

I'm considering two. And I might just do them both.

Nora said...

Overachiever! :)

Courtney said...

More than likely, indecisive. ;)