Saturday, December 27, 2014

Turning towards a new year

I transferred special dates from one year to the next: friends' birthdays, our wedding anniversary (like I'd forget!), our (upcoming) fourth year here.

My dad will be seventy-nine in 2015.

David will be eighty-one.

My sisters are in their fifties.

Lanie will be thirteen. Erin will be nine.

And though transferring time from one year to the next in the past seemed rote, these years it carries with it a certain weight. Lifetimes don't seem as vast as they once did in youth.

I remember the hospital worker meeting with my sister and me after we'd been told my mom had less than two weeks to live. I sat in her office and cried. I remember how she asked me, "What do you want, Courtney? One more day?"

One more day. One more birthday. One more holiday. One more chance to make the lost years right. Yeah, melancholic meets optimist in the pages of a new year.

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