I noticed in the group shot that I'm standing next to my father and holding onto his hand. I don't know if it's a typical father-daughter response, or if it's a typical Courtney response. I tend to hold onto the hands of people I love--and I know that day I was so grateful to have a father live to hold mine, when a mother couldn't. I hold my daughters' hands sometimes just walking down a hallway. I've held hands of friends during church service. I've reached across a table a time or two as well. And when I go to David's house, he will sit next to me every time and hold my hand.
Went out into the yard to rake some oak leaves out of the flower beds. Grabbed ear plugs for a tractor ride (but it didn't happen this time--spitting rain and a stubborn door knob). I sat in the field and Erin sat next to me and we looked out to the apple trees. One is clearly dying--weeping, bleeding, peeling apart. I'll probably get out in coming weeks with a chainsaw to take it down. I hope to plant a new one. I have always wanted fruit off my own tree. My sweet friend Beckie makes applesauce from the harvest in her yard, and it is delightful. I'd like to try that too.
I got underneath the branches where the two trees reach out and entwine. One tree is about forty, the other a younger one, maybe twenty-five. I stared up at the cloudy sky and looked through the webbing of branches. Spring buds will flower to be the most fragrant blossom.
"Erin, get my camera bag," I called to her. But then the rain started sputtering, so we went inside. I made popcorn and a mug of coffee. I need spring break. I just want a rake or a paintbrush in my hand, and hours ahead of me, and sunshine, and music. I would love the time to read the library books I got for me at the library.
Erin got a bike upgrade on Sunday. She and Lanie now ride the same sized bike (Lanie's seat is higher to accommodate her longer legs). They trade back and forth. They ride all over the property.
I still have the tricycle in the garage. She still rode it when we first got here. And then friends with little siblings would often ride it at play dates.
Next week we're loading our bikes up to hit the trails. (I really kinda love that part.)
***I need this.
I need my hands back in the dirt.
This winter seemed so long.