Tuesday, February 9, 2016

The best use of time

If chapter three convicted my heart about the builder and the one who tears apart, chapter four got me about time and my attitude.

When Erin wanted to show me a picture of her and a bestie she had taken with her camera, I stopped pre-dinner clean up and cooking and looked at the image. It was special to her.

When Lanie asked before going up to bed last night if I would make pancakes for breakfast, I said I would. This morning, even though I slept in after making Shane's lunch, I got up before my teenager and had four pancakes waiting for her when she walked into the kitchen. She smiled and hugged me.

I'm so glad I did flour blend batches this weekend. I made enough that I could even whip up a batch of pancake/waffle mix, just for days like this (and to use with the delightful waffle iron I got for Christmas).

flour batches, our favorite blend

label love

We had banana pancakes for breakfast as the snow fell.
Banana pancakes, gluten-free

Lanie had already finished up by the time Erin came down

she sneaks a smile in

Shane always orders banana pancakes for breakfast the morning we pack up to head home from the beach. We stop off at a restaurant for breakfast and get big, fat pancakes. Now that we are gluten free, Lanie remarked we won't be able to do that anymore. But I have other plans ... plans of off-season rentals, and our feet in the sand as we school, and gluten-free banana pancakes just because.

"Choosing to be a servant-mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the task of mothering--and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment." The Mission of Motherhood, by Sally Clarkson*, chapter 4, page 66. (emphasis mine)

I underlined this in the book.

When time is my love language, understood in this context, it shattered me. I don't know why, but being a mom seemed a heckuva lot easier when my kids were little. This season, this year--it's a hustle.

Some days, the hustle is a force I laugh at. Other days, it's a force that beats me with a stick.

The snow is still falling in fat, fluffy flakes that make Erin laugh just to see them. We did three classes of work this morning. They are on a lunch break, and then we scheduled in lots of snow play time. Math and grammar to wrap up the day.

We even got to read ahead in history and science, and I felt such a peace.

Satsuma in the house. Fire in the school room stove. I steal a last breakfast bite of banana pancake, soaked with sweet maple syrup.

Already, I notice the difference, when my focus is on my mission (thank you, God) and not myself (and a crazy list of to-do).

There is still a crazy list of to-do, especially if we have classes tomorrow. Learning daily how to get it done, and done with love.

(*No compensation to mention this book.)

No comments: