Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Taking it back

I think if any phrase sums up our school year this year, it's "taking back Tuesday." Tuesday was the co-op crunch day of stress and hustle between making sure all their work was done and making sure I was ready for my class, too. There wasn't time for much else.

I remember one day last year sitting at the table all day and past dinner. I had commented to a mom that we were still at work after dinner, and she replied, "We all are." Everyone understood the Tuesday crunch and what it did to a household.

A Tuesday, last year.

That one day, specifically, on an already growing load of wonder and why, changed me. It changed us. It was the start of taking things back. Restoration. 

This school year, Tuesdays are, by intention, our lightest day, and once a month, they are a celebration.

We missed out on a formal Tea Party Tuesday in February because of all the twists and turns in my life since my dad died, and March felt like it might become trampled by the pull and tug of other things. But yesterday was a snow day.

We always hope to have a special guest join us for the parties. (With deep sadness, I think on how my dad didn't get the chance to join us.) March was going to march on whether I was ready with a guest or not.

I built a fire. I got my poetry books (some people stress eat, some binge shop to feel the joy--I load a virtual cart full of $3 used books). And at a recent library trip, I grabbed a copy of "The Sound of Music" to watch with the kids.

The fire was delightful. I spread a picnic blanket (which seems to grow smaller each year) onto the living room floor. I loaded up the movie and brought out the books. It was just the girls and me.

My life is not the same since my dad died, and not even for the obvious loss and grief. I'm still trying to tame the days and the feelings, to take back some of the normal and familiar. We need them. So much is still falling into place, and I'm walking through it step by step to find the balance.

I'm thankful for a snow day. Thankful for snow's soft fall. Thankful for the spitting sleet. Thankful for field foxes. Thankful for her hours of outdoor play. Thankful for a warm fire. Thankful for mugs, full. Thankful for so much.

Yesterday, a Tuesday, we took it back.

Popcorn, Trader Joe's gluten-free chocolate cookies, marshmallows and cocoa

I got tulips at Wegmans before the snow came because everyone else was buying up all the chicken

Sweet checkered cloth from lots of picnics
It was simple and cozy. And it's exactly what we needed.

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